Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
