Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
