remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
me + whiskey = a bad person
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
