drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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