after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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