Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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