Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
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