Apparently you make a good broom.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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