Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
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