I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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