What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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