it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
