Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
