I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
So squirting runs in the family.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Randomize
