ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
