Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
