he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
