Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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