then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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