I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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