She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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