Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
