He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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