you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
