when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
