i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
