He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
it was like eating out sand paper
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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