We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
