i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
