im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
