Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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