this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
