I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
