I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
