his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Randomize
