i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
