She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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