She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
