It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
