Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
