I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
