Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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