Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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