I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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