You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
this is an emotional support booty call
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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