Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Someone shit on the floor
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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