Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
