There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
