if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
