I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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