Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
