as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
fuck your aforementioned shoe
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
