i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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