Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
