My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I didn't notice because vodka
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize