isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
We were destined to go to rehab together
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
