Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
