if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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