so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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