I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Randomize
