Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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