i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
being pregnant is like rehab
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
