i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
