How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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